Monday, August 6, 2018

Jessica Faleiro - Unmatched


SHORT STORY


UNMATCHED 

by Jessica Faleiro



I.

Hi Smitha. Ashish here.
Hi Ashish. Nice to connect. I like your name.
Thanks J  
Ashish, if you dont mind my asking, who is the little girl in your profile pic?
Thats my daughter Priya. Shes six.
Are you divorced?
Im married.
So what are you looking for on this online dating app?
I want to connect with new people, outside my normal circle. Im not looking for flings.
Ok. Have you connected with any so far?
Yes, Ive met a lady with a carbon footprint reducing business, an IT consultant who moonlights as a tarot card reader, an artist, a professional storyteller...these are not the kinds of people I would meet in my usual social circle.
Youre the first person Ive come across who uses the app in this way!
It lets you develop a friendship on your terms and at your pace.
Is your wife also using the app?
No, but she knows Im using it to connect with people.
Does she realise youre only connecting with women?  
:P  I dont think she realises its a dating app!  
Hmmm...so you left out telling her that little detail? :P
Theres no need. Theres no password on my blackberry. Shes free to check my phone and messages anytime.
Oh. Ok.
So Smitha...do you want to meet up for a coffee sometime? Im free after I drop my daughter off at school in the mornings.


II.

hi whats your star sign smitha?
Leo. Whats yours?
aquarius...thats interesting
What? Does that mean something?
fatal attraction ha ha
Youre drawing that conclusion based purely on our star signs?
na...na...its obvious...you liked my photo...na?
So?
we both liked each others photo and swiped right...means theres an attraction at some level, na?
I would need to get to know you better before I could say that.
ok, so I can come to Goa one weekend?...you live alone?
Slow down buddy!  Ive just connected with you online and youre inviting yourself to Goa already?
means...?  you gave me your number and were on whatsapp na?
I gave you my number so we could whatsapp because you have an interesting profile and some similaritiesyoure also a traveller and into movies, like I am. Plus you have a professional background as a consultant and Masters degree from IIM and also because the dating app has such bad connectivity and a slow response rate.
okkk
Are you married?
divorced
Ok, for how long?
since 2012
Any kids?
no, thank God
So what are you looking for from this app?
connect with friends, but hoping for a long-term relationship with someone like-minded. What about you?
Yes, the same.
smitha...hope you dont mind...but I want to ask you a question
Ok, go ahead.
do you know anything about bdsm?


III.

hi madm you want be serviced?
I dont understand...?
i am profesnal gigulu also givin messeges


IV.

hi smitha. did u like my pic?
Yes Mohan, seems that youve travelled a lot around India?
yah, I luv going round with my Enfield...hopefully you can join me sometime.
Am still getting to know you.
okkk so what u lookin 4 in a guy?
Someone who is capable of having an engaging conversation and with some common interests...
okkk...good...dats me! J
J
hav u had dinner?
...? Yes
what did you eat?


V.

Hey Ahmed. Ive enjoyed chatting with you. Would you like to meet up for coffee sometime?
Yeah, sure, definitely!  One thing I want to check with you.
Ok, go ahead.
Can I bring my wife?
You didnt mention before that you are married!
Yes, actually, we are looking for a third person to join us. If we all like each other, then we would like to make it a regular thing.


VI.

Shailesh, thanks for swiping right. Its been good chatting with you. But, Im curious about what youre looking for on this app. Theres an age difference of more than ten years between us.
Yes, I like older women.
So, have you connected with older women before?
Yes, as friends. I feel that they really understand me and are more accepting and patient. Also, I am a virgin and I feel that an older woman would have more experience to guide me in the bedroom. I want to ensure that when I get married I know what I am doing so I can keep my wife happy.


VII.

11.45pm: Hey!
11.46pm: Are you online?
11.48pm: Motu!
9.35pm (+1): Are you calling me Motu?
Its just a pet name.
For whom? You dont know me well enough to be this familiar. We only connected yesterday afternoon and havent even exchanged phone numbers and youre giving me a pet name?
Arre chill yaar!  Sorry if it was offensive.


VIII.

Hey Deepak, its been good chatting with you. I need to leave to do some errands. Keep in touch.
Ok, before you go...just curious. Are you married?
No, I am single. Are you married?
Yes.
Then what are you looking for on this site?
A compatible sexual partner.
What do you mean by compatible?
Someone who understands me, who I can talk to, share lifes ups and downs with me. Basically, someone who is on the same wavelength as me.


IX.

So what are you looking for in a guy?
At this point Stephen, Im looking for someone single.
Ha ha. Dont worry. Im single. I know what you mean.
Why? Do you find lots of married women on the site?
Yes! Married, separated, bisexual, couples looking for a threesome all getting in touch with me. But one thing I like about people here, theyre pretty upfront and honest about what theyre looking for.
True. So, what are you looking for?
Hoping to connect to someone with whom I can have a decent conversation and hopefully, a long term relationship. Also, I love to travel but hate travelling alone or rather, I should say, Im tired of it.
Do you travel often?
Yes, for work. Been to five continents so far ;)
J  What else do you look for in a woman?
Well, basic stuff really. She should know what to say and when to keep quiet, especially around my business associates. I like a woman who knows what to wear outside and inside. She should love giving blowjobs. Also, Im a pretty romantic guy. Id love to buy my woman lacy underwear. Do you like lingerie?


X.

Hi Jaswinder. I hope your weekend is off to a great start!
Yes, thanks Smitha. Hows yours going?
Been hectic so far. Just chilling in front of the TV now.
What are you watching?
Friends.
Which channel?
Comedy Central.
Cool. I love this episode.
Me too J
I really liked your pic. Especially the one of you in the red dress.
Thanks. That one was taken in Dubai.
Youre a really beautiful lady. Have been hoping to connect with someone like that smart, pretty.
Thank you. So, what are you looking for on this app?
Hoping to meet someone I can share my emotions and feelings with. What about you?
Same here. Are you single or divorced...?
Am married. But my wife is in USA. In Seattle.
So youre not able to share your emotions and feelings with her?
Were both busy. You know how it is. Life. Am pretty lonely.
Then why dont you live in the same place?
She didnt give me a choice. Just got a job she couldnt refuse, packed a suitcase and left. We speak on the phone, but its not the same.
Hmmm
Smitha, dont you get get lonely sometimes?


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This short story originally appeared in the Joao Roque Literary Journal: 

Jessica Faleiro lived and worked in Kuwait, Mumbai, Miami, Paris and London before she moved to Goa, where she lives in a writing studio by the beach so that she can daydream her stories into being. She categorises herself as a global nomad and a typical adult 'Third Culture Kid.'  Her fiction and non-fiction have been published in various anthologies, journals and magazines including Asia Literary Review, Forbes, Indian Quarterly, IndiaCurrents, Coldnoon, Mascara Literary Review, Muse India and the Times of India.  Her debut novel Afterlife: Ghost stories from Goa (2012) was followed by The Delicate Balance of Little Lives (2018), a collection of interlinked stories about five Goan women coping with loss.  She won the Joao Roque Literary Journal ‘Best in Fiction 2017' award for her short story ‘Unmatched.’  Jessica has previously worked as an editor for Kingston University Press and co-edited the March 2018 issue of the Joao Roque Literary Journal, curating writing from the Goan Diaspora. Jessica has an MA in Creative Writing from Kingston University, UK, and runs creative writing workshops in India and abroad.